After traveling through Vietnam (don't worry, eventually I will get around to posting the stories) returning to Thailand was like returning home. I found myself tearing up at the kindness of the Thais and feeling overwhelming gratitude for all the smiles I encountered.
Yet its not the same. I am not at my school, I am at the orientation site for the new volunteers and my volunteer group has returned home. I am no longer teaching my students and I am no longer living with my Thai family. While I am back to the area that feels like home it is in a capacity that is new and strange. I am surrounded by English speakers all day long and am helping the new volunteers to adjust to life in Thailand.
I feel a little like I am stuck in-between two worlds. I feel homesick for my old life in Thailand and also for America. Some days I feel like I cannot wait to go home, to start the next chapter of my life and begin to get over the heartache of saying goodbye to Thailand. Other days I feel an overwhelming anxiety that I have made the wrong decision, that I need to stay here, that there is no way I will be able to actually get on a plane and leave all this behind. I just need to keep moving...and get out of the in-between.
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