Merry Christmas!!

I had a very Merry Christmas in Thailand! I taught my students Jingle Bells, and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. We decorated a wall of the class room with paper snow flakes, I had a white Christmas!

The spirit of Christmas can be anywhere if you have the right attitude, and I am grateful for the fun I had with my students and their excitment to celebrate the holiday with me.

I am on my way to the bus station right now to spend a few days at the beach and then ring in the New Year in Bangkok. I am looking forward to swimming in the ocean and playing in the sand. I also cannot wait to find a pizza in Bangkok and see a movie! I wish you all a happy New Year and will post again when I get back next year!!! Happy Holidays...

"No Worry"

My roommate is getting married. This should be happy news, it should be cause for celebration, but I find myself yet again trying to accept a cultural difference that makes me upset. Pe Pom is not marrying for love, because “love no eat.” She is marrying a man who was able to give her family enough money for her hand in marriage that they can now buy a farm. Pe Pom says,

“No love him. He old man, ugly. I love mother, I love money."

I find myself biting my tongue and nodding, saying I understand. Everything inside me wants to tell her she does not have to do this, everything I learned in “Women’s Studies” in college runs through my mind and I fight the urge to spout American feminism to her, the urge to tell her to assert her independence and self worth. It’s hard to remember that she accepts this as normal; this is what is expected of her and what she expects of herself. While her marriage may seem shocking to me, it is normal to her. When I try to explain to her that in America this does not happen she simply says,

“America no poor. All rich.”

I have given up arguing with this statement, for though every American may not be rich in monetary ways we are all rich in other ways I am only just now beginning to understand, and used to take for granted. To Pe Pom the idea that people in America would not get married if they did not love one another is just as shocking as her marriage is to me. I ask if she is nervous or frightened about her pending nuptials and she simply says,

“I know worry”.

This is the Thai motto. I am constantly told to “no worry”, to accept what is happening and trust that things will be as they should, and that the act of smiling through fear, angry, sadness and confusion helps to diffuse any situation. So I take a deep breath, wish her happiness, give her a big smile and “no worry” anymore.

The little things..

It’s the little things that make you realize you feel at home that are the most important while living abroad. Its not the big trips or wild adventures that matter most but the small moments that make you smile and bridge the culture you are from to the culture you now live in.

Last week I allowed students to play with and braid my hair. It sounds like nothing, but this simple act, this girly activity, finally connected me to the students I spend everyday with. Letting them brush and braid my hair made me somehow more real to them, less scary and intimidating. Plus it was comforting to me as anyone who knows me knows that having my head “petted” is my number one comfort. After finishing my French braid the students stayed gathered around me to talk and giggle. They tried harder to communicate with me than they ever had and followed me around for the rest of the afternoon. Everyday after classes students now come to talk to me, they sit near me during extracurricular activities and run to help me when I am carrying my things to school, greeting me in English with smiles and waves. Students now approach me without the shyness and fear they previously had. They now take the time to communicate with me, to learn new words and phrases while we are not even in class. If I had known that letting them play with my hair would have had such a dramatic effect I would have done it weeks ago!

I also introduced my roommates to American music the other night as well. I plugged my I-pod into its speaker and danced and sang to music while helping to prepare dinner. Before I knew it my two female roommates were dancing along with me and we were having a full blown dance party. We laughed and sang together, and made up silly dance moves. The atmosphere of my house completely changed and we had the most carefree and fun evening I have had thus far in my new home with my roommates. Plus they gave me the greatest compliment of all, they said I danced like Michael Jackson!

It was important for me to realize that I can implement parts of my culture into my home. I do not have to completely ignore the parts of American culture that make me feel comforted and happy, I can bring them into my new life here as well. It’s this act of sharing and learning from one another that makes each day exciting and new and connects me to my new Thai friends and students. It just took me a little time to see that I had to look at all the differences as possibilities to connect rather than reasons to be separate.