Free Bird

Last week I attended a party. A party here in the Isan region basically means that one sits around on straw mats on the ground and drinks whiskey sodas or a beer with ice, cooks meat on a fire and listens to blaringly loud music. This party was a goodbye party for a teacher leaving Wangasae to teach at a new school. The party was being held next door to my house and when I arrived I was handed a big bowl of “moo” (Thai for pig) that had just been pulled off the fire. They then gave me a glass of beer, with no ice per my pleadings, but seemed to think it was strange I did not want my beer on ice and kept offering it to me. I proceeded to eat my “moo” and pantomime/ talk with my friends. Loud Thai music was playing and occasionally someone would jump up and dance or enthusiastically start clapping and going “uh uh uh” to the beat. It was a fun time, everyone was relaxed, things were good and bellies were full…or so I thought.

I then heard a horrible shrieking, screaming noise by the fire. There is a baby, named Telephone, who lives with her parents at my school and I thought perhaps it was her, restless at being held for so long. Yet when I turned around it was a chicken, being held upside down by the flames having its feet tied together. The bird was shrieking and clucking, objecting fully to what was happening to it. My fellow teacher, who was holding the poor creature, looked at me and said,

“Kate! Fried chicken!” He looked incredibly pleased with himself. He then placed the chicken upside down in a plastic bucket at the edge of the gathering and put the lid on. The chicken continued to shriek and scream in the bucket. I told people that this was somewhat hard for me as in America we never really see the meat before it is meat.

Fifteen minutes passed and the chicken grew silent. I assumed he had suffocated and said a little chicken pray to myself for the poor bird and tried to think of an excuse to walk away so I wouldn’t have to watch them pluck it, drain it of blood and chop it up to put on the fire. I thought that putting the thing in a bucket to kill it was pretty inhumane and contemplated briefly becoming a vegetarian as I nibbled on my remaining “moo”, which was delicious!

Next thing I know the bucket EXPLODES! The chicken somehow kicked the lid off and threw itself out of the container. Everyone had had their fair share of alcoholic beverages so at first no one could do anything but look on in surprise and make shocked exclamations. The chicken madly kicked around on the ground and somehow got its legs untied and took off, running faster than I have ever seen a chicken run, into the night. People started yelling and trying to catch the bird, flailing wildly at it as it ran past them towards the woods. I started screaming “wing ghai, wing!” (Which translates to“run chicken run!”) I seemed to be the only chicken cheerleader of the group, as everyone else was running after it or getting flashlights to try and find it in the woods. They looked for that chicken for the rest of the night, but never found him. Needless to say we did not dine on fried chicken. That was one free bird and one unforgettable party.